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THE EVILS OF TRANSGENDER STEREOTYPING

Three days ago, I had lunch with a transgender sister of mine. As we played around with our French fries, she told me of her disdain for the habit of some gay men dressing up as women during gay parties and assuming they and her (a transsexual woman) are the same i.e. she is not against gay men cross dressing but they should never assume putting on dresses and make up make them transgender women). I asked her if she has ever perceived herself as a gay man to which she admitted that during her nascent stages of her gender transition (male to female) her friends used to tell her she was gay or she was acting in a gay manner.

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THINGS YOU DON’T SAY TO A TRANSSEXUAL.

DON’T #1 – “I was just talking to A CHANGE the other day and…”To me, this suggests that you are having strange conversations with your pocket money. No one IS a change. One can ask for change, own change, ex-change, change tires, change clothes, change sides, change to a minor key and change of life, but one cannot BE a change.
DON’T #2 – “You look just as good as I do.”
Of course I do. And this is precisely the state of grace to which we all aspire. But more than likely you do both of us an injustice.

DON’T #3 – “Well I want you to know I certainly consider you a woman.”
It is a never-ending source of wonderment that well-intentioned, and otherwise very well brought-up people say this to me, with a light of total sincerity shining from their eyes for which any self-respecting cocker spaniel would kill. Unfortunately, this assurance turns on at least four assumptions which, upon closer inspection, prove to be entirely unfounded: a) my gender is a subject about which reasonable people might be expected to reasonably differ; b) my gender is a topic that is currently open for discussion; c) my gender and your perception of it, is something about which I suffer rather a great deal of anxiety and about which I am seeking some reassurance; d) you, since you are a nontransexual, are in just the providential position of providing me with this reassurance I so desperately seek.

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